Hoi An

Hoi An Aly Spa $ – $$

Standard Vietnamese, family-run Spa with some good reviews on Trip Advisor. Prices can be negotiated so even if your masseur doesn’t have certified training, who can complain when it is so cheap?

 

‘Why is your body massage 315,000 when, just next door, Hoi An Day Spa’s is 258,000?’ I enquired to the girl approaching me. The other one had run away when I started speaking in Vietnamese.
‘What you want?’ said the girl, peering at me.
‘I was just wondering why you’re more expensive than Hoi An Day Spa.’
‘Okay, 250’.
‘Pardon’, I said.
‘250, okay?’

 

It was quite a discount but my intention hadn’t been to barter. ‘No, I mean, what’s the difference? What’s better about your massage, I’d like to know?’
‘Yes, yes, yes’, she said while trying to bodily usher me into the spa.
‘I mean, you are so close to each other and a tourist will probably go to the cheaper so I just wanted to know what it is that makes yours…’
‘Different oils. massage different.’
‘In what way?’ I pursued, genuinely interested.
‘Okay, 200!’
‘What?’
‘200!’
‘Done!’ I trumpeted, ‘Done!’ I boomed again, now ushering her out the way as I strode towards the inviting footbath and chair.

After ascending the stairs, my feet sliding precariously in over-sized flip flops after the oily footbath, I was ushered into the prettily decorated green and white massage room of three beds, all set off by a large, freshly picked blood red rose on the pillow.

 

Whilst there was clearly no discernable training in massage technique, nor understanding of the skeletal /muscular structure, the massage turned out to be a pleasantly relaxing experience even after she virtually tried to press my entire body through the bed when I said I liked it ‘strong’. So, in-between leg up the back manipulations, rubbing and body chopping slaps, I found myself drifting into that floating, nether world where sounds become distant, consciousness drifts in and out and time becomes interlaced with oneness. Bliss!

 

Like all things nice, all too soon, my bliss was roughly taken from me by someone shoving eye-watering menthol oil under my nose. I shouldn’t have wondered whether I could get off the table or not because this rough application, over my face to the point my eyelids turned inside out, did the trick.

 

Hours: 9am – 9.30pm

Add: 556 Hai Ba Trung Street
Tel: (84) 235 3917 972
Mobile: (84) 905 640 171
Email: [email protected]

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